Ezzy's Education (part 3); Machos and Mistresses (Cont).
Machos and Mistresses (cont’d)
They watched Verica’s additional footage: parents holding signs with their son’s names and jersey numbers, the crowd yelling and clapping, students watching the game or standing in small groups not watching at all. There was an old-timer yelling at a referee, “Stupid pansy rule!”
Seeing the old-timer, scruffy and gray and dressed in a beat-up sweat suit, Lucinda touched Verica’s hand and said, “We can use that. We’ll juxtapose it. Do you know what ‘juxtapose’ means?”
“Uh, I mean, vaguely, yes.”
“It just means putting things next to each other for effect. It’s so easy, yet so powerful. Just clip the video to where he says ‘pansy.’ I know what to do with it. Also clip a few shots of the crowd cheering. We’ll make it look like Trunk’sfather has a rabid following.”
“So we are being misleading?”
“Of course we are, but that’s not the point, Verica. The point is advancing Justice. All those rules about fairness andtreating people the same, they don’t apply when your cause is Justice
—so forget about them.”
“If you say so.” Verica winced, fearing she had just come off as snarky.
“I do say so, Verica. And for Justice to advance, I must be student body president.” “That is for sure.” I guess?
“Plus, the Patriots try to manipulate people all the time, but they’re not fighting for Justice.”
“Got it.”
“Look, Verica, if anyone gives you any BS about my video, just accuse them of—and this is an exact quote,Verica—accuse them of, quote, ‘engaging in whataboutism.’”
“What is what-whataboutism?”
“You’ll have to look it up. No time right now. Basically, whataboutism is a way of distracting people from things your side did by bringing up things your enemy did. We in the Justice movement engage in whataboutism allthe time, but by the grace of godless providence, the Patriots are so dumb they haven’t figured that out yet.” Lucinda laughed a short, loud laugh.
“That sounds like an effective technique.” Verica’s phone made a sound and she looked at it. “InstaTok: New Post by Trunk Langston.”
The top of every InstaTok page reads “IT” next to an image of Pennywise the Clown. A smile full of incisors dominates the clown’s lightbulb-shaped face that leaps out from under a monstrous, red mane of hair. Trunk’s post sat below Pennywise. Verica clicked on it.
THE Trunk Langston
10:37 p.m.
Great game, great game. It truly was. Biggest, loudest crowd ever at Schmaltzy. LOSER LUCINDA, come to the party. Your HIDING!
Verica gasped.
“What is it?” Lucinda asked. Verica handed Lucinda her phone.
Lucinda read Trunk’s InstaTok post. “There’s not even a photo of the crowd! No audio of the crowd either!This whole post is so misleading! Trunk will pay for this disinformation.”
“Do you think Trunk is drunk?” Verica asked.
“He doesn’t drink,” Lucinda said. “At all.”
“That seems hard to believe.”
Lucinda looked like she just had an epiphany. “You may be on to something, my dear. I’ll fill you in later if it comes to that. Right now, time is of the essence! I’ll be right back.” She raced upstairs.
Waiting alone in the studio, Verica looked at Trunk’s InstaTok post, shaking her head in gratified disbelief. Shethought of how her Patriot parents would hate what she was doing and she smiled. She was so sick of theirconstant talk of her great grandfather risking prison or even death to escape Czechoslovakia under the Communist rule of the Soviet Union, the secret trip he made to former Yugoslavia, to Italy, and finally to the United States, and those stupid pictures in their living room of former Czech President Vaclav Havel and former US President RonaldReagan, who was dead before she was even born! Her happy, grateful, boring parents didn’t get it. They have no clue how unjust this country is. They’re blind; they’re ignorant.
A muffled voice coming through the ceiling broke Verica’s thoughts. It was not Lucinda’s voice.
“Remember, don’t ever say you want to end the football program. We’ll get it eventually. Sometimes Justice needs to take over incrementally so people don’t notice what’s happening and rebel.”
Verica realized they must have woken Lucinda’s mother, Professor Barron. I can’t believe she might help getme into a good college for my service to Justice. I’m so grateful.
“Yes, mother,” Lucinda said.
“Time is on our side,” Professor Barron said. “Now, go do your thing, I know you won’t fail me. Fight like you’re playing American football.”
A moment later, light footsteps came down the stairs, then, pow! There she was, Lucinda Barron, social justice warrior dressed to the nines! Her hair straightened, it shimmered. She wore eye shadow, light blush over herpowdered face, and bright-red lipstick. That dress! It was shiny, royal blue, low cut, and clinging to her size-four waist. Painted in white across the front of the dress were the words “Ban Toxic Masculinity.” Three-inch blackheels!
“You look, well, incredible,” Verica said.
“Why thank ya. Now we must film me.” Lucinda moved to her chair. “Remind me to tell you about this new lipstick I’m wearing. It’s amazing.”
“Okay. Do you need a script?”
“It’s all in my head. It’s simple. Simple is always best. Except when you want to confuse people.”
Verica moved to the camera aimed at the chair.
Lucinda shook her head a little and ran her hands down her hair. She puckered her lips as if she were going to kissthe camera, crossed her legs, and pushed her shoulders back so the “Ban Toxic Masculinity” on her dress would be captured by the camera. “Ready to go?” she asked.
“I am!”
“Go.”
Verica began recording.
Smiling again, Lucinda addressed the camera. “Well, hellooo there, friendlies. Lucinda Barron here. I hope to be your student body president.”
She sounds so friendly on camera, like a completely different person. I wish I could do that!
“I have waited until senior year, and now it is my turn.”
So true!
“Tonight, we learned toxic masculinity is real, it is widespread, and it is dangerous. The support shown for the terrorist act committed by the father of my opponent, Trunk Langston, proves this beyond doubt.”
Whoa! Go big or go home!
When Lucinda made her strongest statements (on video and at school), she raised her right arm and thrust her open hand forward, stopping it at forty-five degrees. She repeated this motion with each word she spoke until the point shewas making was made. Her motion was not all that different than that made when fly casting, except Lucinda’smotion was staccato and lacked rhythm. Many students at Ebbing High School called her motion “Lucinda’s karate chop.”
“At Ebbing High School, we must be safe from the terror of toxic masculinity so we may all learn to advancejustice as Justice understands it and fight to end privilege as Justice defines it.”
Yes!
“Manliness and spirited individualism are tools of oppression. They just are. They force us to do things like wear makeup and they even oppress those who do not yet understand how oppressed they are.”
Deep.
“As your president, I will take you on a journey—”
I love journeys!
“—and you will see masculinity and individualism cannot co-exist with my understanding of freedom.”
Uh, not sure what that means, but I’m sure it’s great.
“Our journey will lay bare the myth of individualism that has poisoned our country over its nearly 250 year history.Together we can do this, and I stand for unity among those who agree with me. And if I win, then I love more than half of you, which is a lot. Have a fabulous weekend everyone. Yay freedom!”
Lucinda stood up and said, “Done.”
“That was mind-blowing!”
“Eh,” Lucinda replied. “It will have to do. Let’s edit out the part from where I mention manliness all the way through individualism and US history. Students won’t understand that. Take it out.”
“Sure thing,” Verica said. “I think you may have meant to say ‘toxic’ before ‘masculinity’ in that section.”
“Oh man,” Lucinda said. “Freudian slip, oops!” She chuckled. “Well, it won’t be in the video now, so who cares.”
“Ha!”
“Oh,” Lucinda said, “remind me before you leave tonight we must decide how to handle Ezzy Bello if shedoesn’t get on board with the agenda.”
Handle? Huh? “Sure thing!”
“Ezzy’s got this individualist streak someone like her should not have. She seems to think she can reach her own conclusions about justice.”
“How ridiculous.”
A few minutes later, while editing, Verica asked, “Are you worried students will criticize your powerful arm motions?”
“Not the students I care about,” Lucinda said. “There are those who say ‘Lucinda’s karate chop,’ and they’re morons.I’m close to being a master at Northern Praying Mantis Kung Fu, not karate for crying out loud. I hate karate, eventhose stupid Karate Kid movies and that Cobra Kai show. They’re so American.”
“I just thought I should ask,” Verica said. Whoa.
“Well since you asked, you should know I’d be a Kung Fu black belt now but my Sifu—that’s my instructor—hasbeen denying me my belt for three years now. He says I haven’t shown him enough dedication since I’ve been learning all my advanced techniques from YouTube videos. He says I can’t expand my mind enough that way, which isso not true.”
“Not true at all!” Verica yelled while placing her hands on her hips.
“And he says I can’t get my black belt because I’m not ready to teach. Can you believe that? Teaching and being amaster are in my blood. Speaking of which, if anything, my hand gesture looks like the man’s hand in the bigpainting on the wall of my professor mother’s study. He was the master of the whole country of China and he’swaving to his admirers in the painting.”
“So not a karate chop,” Verica said.
“Verica, you’re wasting my time with all this talk. Now, text the army; tell it to comment on my post.”
Verica had been granted access to Lucinda’s “army” list: phone numbers of classmates, friends and family memberswho supported Lucinda’s candidacy.
Verica alerted the army. “Done.”
“Excellent work,” Lucinda said. “Now to my InstaTok page. Here’s what I’m typing above the screenshot of mein my dress: ‘Deplorable. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree trunk.’”
“Ha! That is clever.” What did she mean about handling Ezzy Bello?
Ezzy's Education, the first novel by recovering Washington, D.C. political professional Garrett C. Murch, can be purchased here as a paperback or an eBook